Anxiety

I know that feeling anxious is a normal part of pregnancy but I wasn't prepared for how anxious I would feel about simple things this pregnancy.

I knew that we would both feel nervous and anxious before appointments and tests but I never thought I would feel anxious about something as simple as looking or buying baby things.

Target has a baby sale on and last Thursday I thought I could go down and put lay-by some baby clothes...simple enough, right?

Well on the way there, after some tears, I realised that I couldn't do it.....well not by myself anyway.
So I called my sisters and one of them was able to come with me.

I can't really explain why I couldn't go by myself, in a way I think I needed someone there to tell me that it is ok to buy things for the baby, it's ok to let myself think about when the baby is here....it's ok to think that things will be ok


The anxiety and thoughts I was feeling was horrible, it should have been a happy and joyous trip to the shops but instead I just kept thinking of how hard we fought to get to this stage and how easily it came in the end, and how easily it can all be taken away too :(
I was scared that I was going to jinx us by buying things for the baby



I hope we can get to a place where we can shop with joy and excitement and not fear and anxiety