To go for a thrid or not?

With Jakson nearly 7 and Milly nearly 1, we have had the question come up a few times if we are going to have another one.
We've talked about it a bit and go from yes to no and as soon as we think yes, we want another one, the other question come up....when do we start trying and how long do we try for before we stop?


We know one thing for sure, we will not going down the fertility treatment path again. It's just not something that either of us can do again. It took so much from us individually, as a couple and as a family that it's not a path we can travel again.


To be honest, I am also still carrying a lot of guilt over falling pregnant. I see so many other ladies desperately wanting a baby and I've been blessed to have two....could I really be that selfish to try and have a third?


I can remember those who during the three and a half years of trying for Milly had two babies in that time.
I felt so much more ripped off that they got two babies in that time when we just wanting to have one.
I know how hard it must be for others who were trying when we were and are still on that horrible path trying to get their baby to see us going back for a third.


While I know intellectually that I shouldn't carry this guilt and that I have no control over it, emotionally and psychologically it haunts me.


So will we try for a third child? I honestly don't know at this point, I change my mind so much on it that I just don't know :(