Now, we had known this date for months but waking up that morning knowing it was to be that day...well that was a very unique feeling.
I had no contractions, there was no hurry, no fear of my water breaking or a baby popping out quickly.
I got up and had my shower, did my hair (a priority of course
) packed the last few things I needed and off we went. We arrived at the hospital at just before 6am and waited around until the day surgery unit opened.
Once it opened we went in and let the nurses know that my blood sugar levels were getting pretty low, and because I was fasting they were a little worried about this.
After speaking to the doctor I was given some apple juice and told that I was going to be the first one on the list and that as soon as the doctor was there I would be going in.
We did all the usual pre-op things of filling in forms, getting weighed, checking baby and then I had to have some horrible medicine.
Not sure what it was for but it was YUK!
I was than taken into the theatre room. Now for most people this would may have been overwhelming but this was my 13th operation and the lights, medical equipment, nurses and doctors were something I was used to so I wasn’t overwhelmed or scared.....in fact I think because I had had so many operations before it kind of took some of the excitement away for me.
Next it was time to sit up on the bed and have the spinal needle and that hurt! But I had some fantastic nurses there holding my hands and talking me through it, they really made it a lot easier for me.
I was than laid down on the table and I started crying, I’m not sure why I was crying but I think it was just that I had so many emotions at that one time that I became overwhelmed by it all.
Once I was ready Jonathon was brought into the room and we were ready for our daughter to be born
They put a sheet up so I couldn’t see anything and when I asked if they could put the sheet down so I could watch they looked at me like it was the strangest request ever made!
and then informed me that I’m not allowed to watch 
I would have LOVED to have watched but it wasn’t to be. For those that don’t know about a c-section, you can feel some things but not pain. I could feel them touching me and all the pushing and prodding but no pain.
Millicent was stuck and so the pushing (of all my organs) I was feeling was very rough and the senior surgeon was...hmm, let’s just say she was very descriptive!
(the other surgeon came and apologised at the end telling us that the senior surgeon sometimes forgets the patient is awake and can hear what she is saying!)
We could hear the surgeon talking about Milly being stuck and that I was loosing more blood than she wanted me too. She kept saying things like ‘oh she is really stuck in there’ or we’re going to have to do this or that to get her out.
Jonathon and I just kept looking at each other with a kind of ‘just get this kid out safely’ look.
Although we were told Jonathon would be able to stand up to watch and take photos of her coming out due to her being so stuck he wasn’t able to do that
After using forceps to get her out Millicent Lindsay entered the world at 8.44am weighing 9lb 2oz or 4.14kg and measuring 52cm with a head circumference of 37.5cm
After she was finally pulled out Jonathon was able to follow her over to the baby station and see her and take photos and cut the umbilical cord.
I had a television above the bed where I could see what they were doing with her over there.
I remember laying on the operating bed looking at my baby and just thinking ‘how f**king big is she!’ BUT when they brought her over to me and laid her on my chest I realised that the TV was just really zoomed in on her and that’s why she looked so gigantic!
As she laid on my chest I kept thinking why don’t I feel anything? Isn’t there supposed to be this instant bond?
I was very confused and not really sure what to feel. We waited so long for her and I'm not feeling anything, it was very confusing for me.
In a way I was relieved when they took her away while I was sewn up because it gave me time to process everything.
Just after I got in to recovery Jonathon and Milly came in.
Again, she was placed on my chest but this time I didn’t feel empty or blank, I felt the most incredible feeling of love for her.
It was as if in that one instant my heart doubled in size.
I don’t know if it was because this time I could hold her and wrap my arms around her (where as whilst in theatre she was only placed on my chest and I couldn’t really cuddle her) or because I then got a chance to feed her. Something I had looked forward to for so long, something that I didn’t get to do last time and it was wonderful.
After spending a bit of time in recovery we were than taken to our room and made the phone call to have Jakson brought in (he had stayed the night at his nanny’s house).
When he came into the room and saw his little baby sister he was so excited and proud
He couldn’t wait to call everyone and tell them all about his brand new little sister
After a traumatic experience with Jakson’s birth, trying to fall pregnant for 3.5 years, having a difficult pregnancy and dealing with letting go of my dream of a VBAC and I am happy to say that I feel I had a positive c-section experience.
The doctors and nurses kept me informed of everything that was happening, Milly was only away from me for a short amount of time and she was with me in recovery and from then onwards.
Oh and her name, well I guess you could say that Jakson named her!
Before I was even pregnant Jakson would tell us that I was going to have a little girl and her name would be Milly. He would always talk about Milly and when I was pregnant he kept saying Milly.
It really grew on us and we couldn’t imagine her not being called Milly.
We started looking at the longer versions of Milly and fell in love with Millicent.
Her middle name Lindsay is her daddy's middle name that was passed down to him
(I’m so glad we didn’t go with his first choice a few years back of Taco!
)
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