On May 26th I turned 28!
A birthday for me, a happy occasion, a time to celebrate...right?
Well unfortunately for every celebration there is, it is a reminder of how long we have been trying to fall pregnant.
Celebrations like birthdays, Christmas, Easter, anniversaries...all of them, it's like a timeline of our infertility struggles.
It's so hard for me to get my head past my own 'woe is me' mind frame at time like this.
Logically I know that I should be happy to be celebrating another birthday, that I have a loving family there to celebrate with me.....but inside it hurts like you wouldn't believe.
This was my 4th birthday in a row of not being pregnant and it hurt so much :(
If it wasn't for how excited Jakson was about my birthday, I probably would have just stayed in bed crying all day :(
I know what I want to feel, but it's not what I actually do feel and that is something that is really hard to process.
If only we were able to control our emotions or feel they way we want to feel, instead of always trying to fight the feelings that are there.
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