What would you do?

Now that the likelihood that IVF will be our path is getting closer and closer, I have come to realise that we may have some very tough and serious decisions to make.

IVF is when the egg is taken from me and the sperm from Johnny to fertilise the egg outside my body, which when fertilised than becomes an embryo.
This embryo will have both mine and Johnny's DNA and is the start of our child.

Now from my understanding, they don't just take one.
They try to take as many as they can but will only transfer one at a time back into my uterus to see if it sticks and we end up pregnant.
The other embryo's are than frozen incase the embryo that has been implanted does not stick.

Now if we are successful on our first cycle of IVF we could potentially have 3 or 4 (or even more) frozen embryos. We would than have to make the decision if we want them destroyed, donated to science for medical research or donated to a couple who have most likely been through everything we have been through and more.

To be honest, I don't feel comfortable with any of these options.
I don't want what could be my child to just be destroyed, and I don't want medical research done with it.
The thought of donating it to another couple fills me with joy but I honestly don't think I could. I feel so selfish for saying that and somewhat embrasses I guess.
I know what they have been through....the heartache, the emotional ups and down, the financial pressure....all of it.
But, if we were to donate our embryo, than really our child would be out there somewhere.
Now while I have no doubt that just being the biological parents does not make you the child's mum and dad, being a mum and dad is something you have to earn by treating your child right, loving them and caring for them in the best way you can, having a child out there with our DNA does make them our biological child.

This means that they would inherit our medical history, and my families medical history is like an encyclopedia of rare medical illness! and some of these medical conditions do have a genetic component to them.
How could I possibly put that onto another family, I at least have the knowledge of my medical history and in a way I know what may happen to any children I have.

Would I always worry if the embryo I donated developed one of these medical conditions, are the parents coping ok?

What if the child wants to meet us when they are older, would I be prepared for that?

Would I be able to not think 'I wonder how that child turned out'?


I recently got to hear the wonderful outcome of an embryo donation.
I have been following another ladies infertility journey and my heart has broken for her as treatment failed and they had to wait for someone to donate an embryo.
Well thanks to a beautiful and selfless couple out there, this lady is now pregnant with their donated embryo.
The complete and overwhelming sense of joy I felt when I found out she is pregnant was amazing, I would love to one day be able to be apart of that joy for another couple.


There is so much to consider, so much to discuss between my husband and myself.
It is definitely not a decision that just one of us can make, it either has to be we both agree to do it or we don't do it at all.



It's one of the toughest decisions we may have to make, do you know what you would do???