A happy medium

I really need to try and find a happy medium, if that's possible.


I keep going from being extremely optimistic and having my hopes right up there to crashing down and having such fear that this is all going to fail or something is going to go wrong


I wish I knew how to get to that place where I am prepared in case it doesn't work out but also so hopeful and optimistic that it will work.....


I went in to this with the highest hopes possible, so sure it was all going to work but now, well now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's because it's so close now, I have a scan on Monday to see if we're ready to go to the next stage or if I need some more injection or if we need to cancel this cycle (if my body has under or over stimulated).

We also have had to two very close friends go through the tragedy of miscarriage, and both happened in very similar circumstances :(
It has been truly heartbreaking to see them go through this and really makes me think that even if IVF is successful it doesn't mean will we get a baby


I'm hoping that these less than positive thoughts will go away, hopefully they are just a fleeting thought and I can go back to thinking of getting that positive pregnancy test, thinking about how we are going to tell people, thinking about how we are going to explain to Jakson why the baby is in my tummy for so long rather than having to explain why it is taking so long to get the baby in my tummy :)