Should I grieve?

I'm not sure if grieve is the right word or not but I often think if I have really acknowledged what infertility has taken from us, all the lost opportunities, the stress....

Should I grieve for what could or should have been ours?

Over the past three years there have been so many things I've missed out on or had pass us by that have been tarnished by our struggle.

I have had to forgo two fantastic job opportunities because 'what if I fall pregnant' jobs that I would have LOVED and been good at.
We've had to miss out on holidays we were planning because it might have coincided with ovulation time or an appointment, test or treatment or the money for the holiday has had to go towards our infertility battle

Each and every mothers day, fathers day, birthday, Christmas, Easter....all have are such happy occasions but all are a reminder of the fact that I am still not pregnant

The financial and emotional pressure it has put us under is unmeasurable, the toll it takes it something that will probably never be undone

Should I grieve for that moment where you think you might be pregnant, go get the test and wait with such excitement and anticipation to see if you are pregnant or not.....that is a moment we will never have, even if we have another child and try for a third we will never believe that we will be luckily enough to have a moment like that. I am very much an optimist but being optimistic can only get you so far


While I have cried, screamed, and vented about our struggles I don't think I've ever really acknowledge what it has stolen from us and allowed myself to believe that my feelings of being 'ripped off' are valid and just.


I guess the only upside, if there is one, is that I have been able to share all of this with you and help those that are going through this but don't have the strength or want to share it, know that they are not alone and hopefully letting them know that their thoughts and feelings are valid and ok.