The little things

Sometimes it's the little things that are the hardest.
It's those things that happen everyday, and happen everywhere....the things you cannot escape.
It's the things that natural, that people don't even know they are doing but for me, those things just tear me apart.

The rubbing of a pregnant belly, talk of due dates, morning sickness, buying those newborn outfits, keeping everyone update on Facebook.....these things are just so so hard to watch my friends and family go through knowing I should be excited for them but knowing that in reality excitement for others is just too hard right now.

Oh how I would love to be throwing up every day because of morning sickness, rather than throwing up all day because of the medication I have to take to try get pregnant.
I would love to have to rub my belly because it's so big and the baby is kicking me, instead of having to be doubled over in pain from sever cramps or worry if I am having a potentially dangerous over reaction to the drugs.
I'd love to have to try and organise OB appointments rather than having to organise specialist appointments, test, procedures....all of which can only be done at certain times during my cycle.


One day I'll get to rub my pregnant belly, buy that little outfit and complain all I want about horrible morning sickness lol....one day it will happen again


xoxo