Our baby girl is going to be three months old tomorrow.
It has been three of the fastest months of my life!
I'm very happy to say that I am still breastfeeding and loving it. I am finding it so rewarding and, well I can't really describe the joy it brings me :)
Milly has changed so much in three months. She really does have her own little personality now and it's adorable!
She is full or smiles, giggles and baby noises and we are all loving it.
She is a very lucky girl because she has a big brother who is completely obsessed with her!
Jakson loves her so much, he is forever sitting next to her and talking or singing to her or laying down next to her while he plays games on his iTouch, just so he can be next to her.
As soon as Milly hears Jakson's voice she starts looking for him, sometimes it looks like she is going to break her neck because she is stretching it so much to see him!
We are also very lucky that Jakson is the best little helper in the world :) always there to help with bathing her or changing her nappy. He really is making it easier for us.
I have to say that the only thing that has put a bit of a damper on things is visitors...well lack of visitors.
Milly is three months old and in that time we have had one lot of friends come over for a visit, and family....well I can count the number of times family have come over on one hand (and that's both sides of our families combined).
I know people are busy or sick or have things going on in their lives but Milly has been here for 13 weeks now and I really didn't think it was too much to expect that people would have put aside an hour to come and meet her in that time or even invited us over to their place so they can meet her.
It just makes me sad that people haven't come to meet her, after all the 'I can't wait for you to have her' or 'I can't wait for newborn cuddles with her' comments during my pregnancy I guess I just expected that by three months old they would have visited her.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
P.N.D
PND or Post Natal Depression....there very scary words.
Especially for someone who has been through it before, which I have.
After Jakson was born I suffered from PND and it was one of, if not the most, darkest times in my life.
At a time when I should have been enjoying being a mother for the first time, enjoying the smilies and cuddles from my son...I was in such a dark place that I wasn't enjoying it like I should have.
I was overcome by the most horrific morbid thoughts (not thoughts of harming myself or anyone else) and filled with such incredible fear of Jakson or Jonathon being taken away from me that I was not functioning as a adult.
After seeing me like this and although he listening to me deny anything was wrong, I was lucky that Jonathon knew better and took me to the doctors. I will forever be grateful that he did this.
After talking to the doctor I was put on anti-depressants which I think saved my life. I was able to see clearly, to process things and to start functioning again, I was finally able to be the mum that Jakson deserved.
So after going through that the first time, I have been very scared of getting PND again.
After everything we've been though - trouble conceiving, a difficult pregnancy and me having to let go of having a natural labour, breastfeeding problems........I was sure I was going to get PND.
This time though I took a pre-emptive attack. During my pregnancy I started seeing the doctors in the mother baby unit (MBU) at the hospital. These doctors are psychologist there to help detect and manage PND.
They have been wonderful and I am happy to say that 11 weeks since having Milly, there is no sign of PND.
I think a big part of this has been establishing breastfeeding. I absolutely love breastfeeding and I am so glad that I persisted because it just feels so rewarding.
I really do think this has helped me not to get PND this time.
Another thing that I believe has helped is being informed about it. Having gone through it once I know how horrible it is and I also know the signs to look for in myself.
I feel sad that I didn't get to feel this way after Jakson was born but I know that it has not impacted on my relationship with him. I have an amazing bond with my little man and he is such a beautiful and caring little boy who I am so very proud of :)
Especially for someone who has been through it before, which I have.
After Jakson was born I suffered from PND and it was one of, if not the most, darkest times in my life.
At a time when I should have been enjoying being a mother for the first time, enjoying the smilies and cuddles from my son...I was in such a dark place that I wasn't enjoying it like I should have.
I was overcome by the most horrific morbid thoughts (not thoughts of harming myself or anyone else) and filled with such incredible fear of Jakson or Jonathon being taken away from me that I was not functioning as a adult.
After seeing me like this and although he listening to me deny anything was wrong, I was lucky that Jonathon knew better and took me to the doctors. I will forever be grateful that he did this.
After talking to the doctor I was put on anti-depressants which I think saved my life. I was able to see clearly, to process things and to start functioning again, I was finally able to be the mum that Jakson deserved.
So after going through that the first time, I have been very scared of getting PND again.
After everything we've been though - trouble conceiving, a difficult pregnancy and me having to let go of having a natural labour, breastfeeding problems........I was sure I was going to get PND.
This time though I took a pre-emptive attack. During my pregnancy I started seeing the doctors in the mother baby unit (MBU) at the hospital. These doctors are psychologist there to help detect and manage PND.
They have been wonderful and I am happy to say that 11 weeks since having Milly, there is no sign of PND.
I think a big part of this has been establishing breastfeeding. I absolutely love breastfeeding and I am so glad that I persisted because it just feels so rewarding.
I really do think this has helped me not to get PND this time.
Another thing that I believe has helped is being informed about it. Having gone through it once I know how horrible it is and I also know the signs to look for in myself.
I feel sad that I didn't get to feel this way after Jakson was born but I know that it has not impacted on my relationship with him. I have an amazing bond with my little man and he is such a beautiful and caring little boy who I am so very proud of :)
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