I invested so much emotional energy into getting pregnant, I don't think I left anything for when I actually did fall pregnant.
Now maybe it's just that it's early in the pregnancy or that I am physically very exhausted from it so far (anemia and horrible morning sickness have left me pretty weak) but I kind of feel emotionally bankrupt at the moment.
Things that would normally upset me, don't even register on my radar at the moment.
Things that would normally leave me feeling excited and happy, while I am a bit excited & happy, it's no where I would normally be.
I want to be feeling things but I just don't have the energy. Over the past three years I have cried pretty much every day, however I couldn't tell you the last time I cried lately.
It's not that there haven't been things to make me cry, I've seen both my son and husband very upset (this would normally be enough to make me bawl my eyes out) I've read sad article in the news, watched sad things on TV....normally just watching ads on TV makes me cry! lol
I scared that this will continue and I won't be able to bond with my baby while I'm pregnant.
I'm hoping this is not the case and at least by the time I can feel the baby kicking I will have started to bond with it.
So much time and energy (physically, emotionally, psychologically) went in to getting to this stage, I don't think I was ready for what would happen after we got pregnant.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Just a random post
Just a bit of a random post about something I've been thinking about
All throughout our struggle we were always told of "those stories", you know the ones where the person tried everything medically (both western and Asian/Chinese medicine) and as soon as they stopped it all and either took a break or "relaxed" they fell pregnant.
Now I know for some people these stories may have helped but I hated hearing them, nearly as much as I hated hearing that all we had to do was relax, take a break or that it would happen when the time was right.
For me, while these stories are nice and I am excited for the people it happened for, I never ever imagined we would be one of them.
Hearing people tell me these stories of people they know always frustrated me. I always felt as though our struggles were being somewhat disregarded or that we were being over dramatic and that as soon as we just let thing happen it would work out for us.
And now we are one of those stories.
We tried for three and a half years, had many tests, tried many drugs and even IVF only to fall pregnant naturally.
I hope when people hear our story it won't upset them, although I'm sure for the ones it does they will still put on the brave face and thank the person for sharing, just like I did and than go home and either yell, cry or just want to punch something!
While relaxing is always going to be good for the body, it is not a cure for infertility.
One of the things we have heard a lot of since announcing we are pregnant is "see I told you all you needed to do was to relax" I don't know why people suddenly think we were relaxing??
In fact the month we fall pregnant was a particularly stressful month for us, definitely not relaxing!
I wish the cure for infertility was something as simple as just relaxing. If that were the case instead of spending the thousands and thousands of dollars that we have on medical treatment, we would have spent it on a nice holiday where we could have just relaxed on the beach ;)
All throughout our struggle we were always told of "those stories", you know the ones where the person tried everything medically (both western and Asian/Chinese medicine) and as soon as they stopped it all and either took a break or "relaxed" they fell pregnant.
Now I know for some people these stories may have helped but I hated hearing them, nearly as much as I hated hearing that all we had to do was relax, take a break or that it would happen when the time was right.
For me, while these stories are nice and I am excited for the people it happened for, I never ever imagined we would be one of them.
Hearing people tell me these stories of people they know always frustrated me. I always felt as though our struggles were being somewhat disregarded or that we were being over dramatic and that as soon as we just let thing happen it would work out for us.
And now we are one of those stories.
We tried for three and a half years, had many tests, tried many drugs and even IVF only to fall pregnant naturally.
I hope when people hear our story it won't upset them, although I'm sure for the ones it does they will still put on the brave face and thank the person for sharing, just like I did and than go home and either yell, cry or just want to punch something!
While relaxing is always going to be good for the body, it is not a cure for infertility.
One of the things we have heard a lot of since announcing we are pregnant is "see I told you all you needed to do was to relax" I don't know why people suddenly think we were relaxing??
In fact the month we fall pregnant was a particularly stressful month for us, definitely not relaxing!
I wish the cure for infertility was something as simple as just relaxing. If that were the case instead of spending the thousands and thousands of dollars that we have on medical treatment, we would have spent it on a nice holiday where we could have just relaxed on the beach ;)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Hello December!
So December has finally fallen upon us and it won't be long until Christmas is knocking at our door!
I love Christmas, I love everything about it :)
I am so grateful that even through our hard times over the past three and a half years, we have had Jakson to make Christmas special.
I know many friends out there at the moment who are not only going to find Christmas hard but the lead up to Christmas. All the families in the shops, the decorations and all things festive that fill our shops, streets and homes.
Over the past year I have had friends suffer miscarriages, go through the tragedy of watching their child become an angle in heaven, have relationship breakdowns, and go through many unsuccessful IVF attempts.
I wish there was something I could do to make it magically better for them all. I wish I could tell them it's going to be ok, but I can't say that because I don't know.
I want to be able to enjoy Christmas as a pregnant lady, I want to rub my belly and show it off as it grows but I am very conscious as to how hurtful it can be for those around me.
Even something as simple as Facebook always puts me in a bit of a dilemma. I want to be able to share our progress with everyone, but I also know what it is like to see pregnancy updates when you are sitting there in tears thinking it may never happen for you.
I hate to admit it but I did 'hide' friends on Facebook that were pregnant, just because I couldn't bare to see their pregnancy updates. As much as I wanted to share in it with them and be joyous, my own bitterness and fear stopped me from doing that.
I have thought about blocking some friends from seeing my pregnancy posts, but I know it's not my place to try and protect others. However I would not be offended at all if they were to hide my posts to protect themselves.
I hope that no matter what people are going through, they are able to find some joy during this time. Something to make them smile, laugh and even if just for a few minutes, something to make them forget the hard time they are going through.
I love Christmas, I love everything about it :)
I am so grateful that even through our hard times over the past three and a half years, we have had Jakson to make Christmas special.
I know many friends out there at the moment who are not only going to find Christmas hard but the lead up to Christmas. All the families in the shops, the decorations and all things festive that fill our shops, streets and homes.
Over the past year I have had friends suffer miscarriages, go through the tragedy of watching their child become an angle in heaven, have relationship breakdowns, and go through many unsuccessful IVF attempts.
I wish there was something I could do to make it magically better for them all. I wish I could tell them it's going to be ok, but I can't say that because I don't know.
I want to be able to enjoy Christmas as a pregnant lady, I want to rub my belly and show it off as it grows but I am very conscious as to how hurtful it can be for those around me.
Even something as simple as Facebook always puts me in a bit of a dilemma. I want to be able to share our progress with everyone, but I also know what it is like to see pregnancy updates when you are sitting there in tears thinking it may never happen for you.
I hate to admit it but I did 'hide' friends on Facebook that were pregnant, just because I couldn't bare to see their pregnancy updates. As much as I wanted to share in it with them and be joyous, my own bitterness and fear stopped me from doing that.
I have thought about blocking some friends from seeing my pregnancy posts, but I know it's not my place to try and protect others. However I would not be offended at all if they were to hide my posts to protect themselves.
I hope that no matter what people are going through, they are able to find some joy during this time. Something to make them smile, laugh and even if just for a few minutes, something to make them forget the hard time they are going through.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thankful for morning sickness
Morning sickness (well actually all day sickness ;) is horrible but I wouldn't change a thing about it!
In fact, I am so incredible thankful for it. It's a symptom of pregnancy and a constant reminder and comfort that I am pregnant.
Today while out shopping I got a phone call from my doctors clinic asking me to come in as soon as possible to discuss my blood test results. Of course you never think that they want you to come in to tell you how good your cholesterol is, it's always going to be to discuss something of concern.
The first available appointment was at 4.15pm, 3 hours away.
So we had 3 hours to stress about all the 'what if's'
I kept telling myself that it has to be ok because I'm still nauseous, and throwing up nearly every meal so that has to be a good sign.
It was comforting to know that I still have morning sickness, because if that were to go away..well than I would really worry :(
Luckily for me my results weren't too concerning, I'm anemic but that is something that I can work at fixing.
I really wish they hadn't made it sound so urgent on the phone because those three hours of waiting were not nice at all!
It's weird that something like morning sickness that controls a lot of my life at the moment is actually something I don't want to live without, well at least until I can feel the baby kicking :)
In fact, I am so incredible thankful for it. It's a symptom of pregnancy and a constant reminder and comfort that I am pregnant.
Today while out shopping I got a phone call from my doctors clinic asking me to come in as soon as possible to discuss my blood test results. Of course you never think that they want you to come in to tell you how good your cholesterol is, it's always going to be to discuss something of concern.
The first available appointment was at 4.15pm, 3 hours away.
So we had 3 hours to stress about all the 'what if's'
I kept telling myself that it has to be ok because I'm still nauseous, and throwing up nearly every meal so that has to be a good sign.
It was comforting to know that I still have morning sickness, because if that were to go away..well than I would really worry :(
Luckily for me my results weren't too concerning, I'm anemic but that is something that I can work at fixing.
I really wish they hadn't made it sound so urgent on the phone because those three hours of waiting were not nice at all!
It's weird that something like morning sickness that controls a lot of my life at the moment is actually something I don't want to live without, well at least until I can feel the baby kicking :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Happiness and guilt
Today was an exciting day but also a day that I felt incredible guilt.
It was the day that we had our appointment with or fertility specialist to tell her that we are pregnant.
We decided to make an appointment and go and tell her face to face rather than over the phone because she has been the one to help and support us and the one who has had to give us all of our bad news so far.
Now it was our turn to share some news, some good news.
I was super excited to be going in and telling her but as soon as we got to the clinic and sat down in the waiting room I started to feel really nervous and guilty.
Feeling guilty isn't something new, I usually feel guilty when I am there.
I feel guilty because we already have a child, we have already been blessed and others who were in the waiting room hadn't got to experience that yet.
Today I sat there thinking just how many couples would sit in that waiting area each week. I thought about all the different stages they would all be at. Some would be there for their first appointment, some there waiting to start IVF, waiting for scans or test results or there (like we once were) to find out why IVF didn't work.
And there I was sitting there waiting to go in and say that we had been blessed once again, and once again we were lucky enough for it to happen naturally.
I felt incredible guilty and sad because I know that for some of these couples, they will never get to experience what we have. It's heartbreaking and devastating. A thought that for most people is inconceivable, I know for me it was.
I thought about how many couples our specialist would have had to give bad news too and how awesome it would be to tell her our good news.
And it was, we went in there and Jakson told her that 'mummy has a baby in her tummy' the look on her face was fantastic :)
We than had a chat and for the first time I was able to just chat with her, nice and relaxed...it was nice, really nice.
It was the day that we had our appointment with or fertility specialist to tell her that we are pregnant.
We decided to make an appointment and go and tell her face to face rather than over the phone because she has been the one to help and support us and the one who has had to give us all of our bad news so far.
Now it was our turn to share some news, some good news.
I was super excited to be going in and telling her but as soon as we got to the clinic and sat down in the waiting room I started to feel really nervous and guilty.
Feeling guilty isn't something new, I usually feel guilty when I am there.
I feel guilty because we already have a child, we have already been blessed and others who were in the waiting room hadn't got to experience that yet.
Today I sat there thinking just how many couples would sit in that waiting area each week. I thought about all the different stages they would all be at. Some would be there for their first appointment, some there waiting to start IVF, waiting for scans or test results or there (like we once were) to find out why IVF didn't work.
And there I was sitting there waiting to go in and say that we had been blessed once again, and once again we were lucky enough for it to happen naturally.
I felt incredible guilty and sad because I know that for some of these couples, they will never get to experience what we have. It's heartbreaking and devastating. A thought that for most people is inconceivable, I know for me it was.
I thought about how many couples our specialist would have had to give bad news too and how awesome it would be to tell her our good news.
And it was, we went in there and Jakson told her that 'mummy has a baby in her tummy' the look on her face was fantastic :)
We than had a chat and for the first time I was able to just chat with her, nice and relaxed...it was nice, really nice.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Christmas Eve, 2004
It was Christmas Eve 2004 and I was nearly 12 weeks pregnant. We were at my mother in laws house for dinner when while sitting on the couch I felt a bit strange. I went to the toilet and saw blood everywhere :(
It was all over my pants, my underwear and my legs...the fear I felt in that split second is something I never wanted to feel again.
I went straight out and told Johnny and we left immediately to go to the emergency room.
We got there and they took us straight in and got the portable ultrasound machine, now this machine was so old that the doctor had to keep tapping the screen to stop it from cutting out!
But no matter how old the machine was, we were grateful because it showed us that our baby was alive and ok.
From that day on until the day Jakson was born, I had bleeding everyday. Not a lot, but at least some bleeding everyday. It was scary, I was monitored closely but in the end they could never tell me a reason as to why I was bleeding.
I lived with a constant fear that I would have another big bleed and that it would be game over :(
Fast forward to Sunday, November 7th 2010. I am about 6 or 7 weeks pregnant and getting ready to go to my nieces 13th birthday party, I went to the toilet and saw blood. Again, the sense of fear completely overwhelmed me.
This time though, I didn't tell Johnny. I monitored myself for the next couple hours to see if there would be anymore. When there was more, I than told Johnny.
The look on his face, the slump of his body....it's something I won't forget. You could physically see the fear come over him.
Being a Sunday night we didn't think there was much that could be done in the Emergency Room.
We were due to have a scan on the following day to see what gestation I am and what our due date would be.
So we decided to hold off going to the ER, to just monitor the blood loss and if it got any worse or I had any other symptoms that might indicate a miscarriage, than we would go to the ER.
We went to our niece's birthday and luckily we didn't have any more bleeding, so we decided to wait for our first ultra scan at 4pm on the Monday.
Monday, what a nervous day that was. Jakson was super excited to be coming to see his baby brother or sister and we were filled with fear at the possibility something could be wrong.
We didn't have to wait long to go in, only a few minutes which was good.
I told the sonographer about our little scare and past history with Jakson's pregnancy.
I lay down on the bed and the songorapher began the scan. First he said he could see a pregnancy sack, which was a huge relief (I hadn't just imagined this pregnancy in my head!) and than I looked at Johnny as the sonographer said the words we were waiting to hear 'there is the heartbeat, you have a live pregnancy'
Just as I saw the physically changes in Johnny's body when the fear came, now I got to see the exact opposite.
I saw his whole body relax, I saw a smile come on his face...I watched as he pointed out the heartbeat to Jakson ♥♥♥
I think I will always have it in the back of my head that it could end at any time, and I hate that I have no control over that.
But what I do have control over is what I can enjoy, and I will enjoy this pregnancy.
I have been extremely exhausted, had horrible morning/all day sickness and now have only 3 pairs of pants that fit me, lol, but I will enjoy all of that because in the blink of an eye it could all be over.
We have fought to hard to get to this stage and I am going to make sure that I appreciate and love every minute of it.
oh, and our due date is June 28th, 2011 :)
It was all over my pants, my underwear and my legs...the fear I felt in that split second is something I never wanted to feel again.
I went straight out and told Johnny and we left immediately to go to the emergency room.
We got there and they took us straight in and got the portable ultrasound machine, now this machine was so old that the doctor had to keep tapping the screen to stop it from cutting out!
But no matter how old the machine was, we were grateful because it showed us that our baby was alive and ok.
From that day on until the day Jakson was born, I had bleeding everyday. Not a lot, but at least some bleeding everyday. It was scary, I was monitored closely but in the end they could never tell me a reason as to why I was bleeding.
I lived with a constant fear that I would have another big bleed and that it would be game over :(
Fast forward to Sunday, November 7th 2010. I am about 6 or 7 weeks pregnant and getting ready to go to my nieces 13th birthday party, I went to the toilet and saw blood. Again, the sense of fear completely overwhelmed me.
This time though, I didn't tell Johnny. I monitored myself for the next couple hours to see if there would be anymore. When there was more, I than told Johnny.
The look on his face, the slump of his body....it's something I won't forget. You could physically see the fear come over him.
Being a Sunday night we didn't think there was much that could be done in the Emergency Room.
We were due to have a scan on the following day to see what gestation I am and what our due date would be.
So we decided to hold off going to the ER, to just monitor the blood loss and if it got any worse or I had any other symptoms that might indicate a miscarriage, than we would go to the ER.
We went to our niece's birthday and luckily we didn't have any more bleeding, so we decided to wait for our first ultra scan at 4pm on the Monday.
Monday, what a nervous day that was. Jakson was super excited to be coming to see his baby brother or sister and we were filled with fear at the possibility something could be wrong.
We didn't have to wait long to go in, only a few minutes which was good.
I told the sonographer about our little scare and past history with Jakson's pregnancy.
I lay down on the bed and the songorapher began the scan. First he said he could see a pregnancy sack, which was a huge relief (I hadn't just imagined this pregnancy in my head!) and than I looked at Johnny as the sonographer said the words we were waiting to hear 'there is the heartbeat, you have a live pregnancy'
Just as I saw the physically changes in Johnny's body when the fear came, now I got to see the exact opposite.
I saw his whole body relax, I saw a smile come on his face...I watched as he pointed out the heartbeat to Jakson ♥♥♥
I think I will always have it in the back of my head that it could end at any time, and I hate that I have no control over that.
But what I do have control over is what I can enjoy, and I will enjoy this pregnancy.
I have been extremely exhausted, had horrible morning/all day sickness and now have only 3 pairs of pants that fit me, lol, but I will enjoy all of that because in the blink of an eye it could all be over.
We have fought to hard to get to this stage and I am going to make sure that I appreciate and love every minute of it.
oh, and our due date is June 28th, 2011 :)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Our little miracle
Well I can't believe that I am posting this, but after a trip to the doctors this morning I left with confirmation that I am in fact pregnant!!
It still feels like a dream, I just cannot believe that we are finally pregnant!
So let me tell you how we came to find this out...
My period was about a week late but I thought it was just because I had had surgery and that may have put a little bump in the road and delayed it a bit.
Than on Saturday Johnny, Jakson and myself were out shopping and we had lunch at the food court. I had one of my favs, spinach and pumpkin gnocchi and was feeling really queasy when I finished it. I've never felt sick after eating it before so that kind of got me thinking that maybe my period wasn't just late, maybe it wasn't coming at all!
I started thinking about all the other pregnancy symptoms that I had put down stress or because of the surgery. As I have had these thoughts (over analysing symptoms) before I quickly pushed them out of my head.
Than driving home we were sitting at the traffic lights and I quickly had to grab a travel sick bag as I was about to throw up. That got me thinking even more that just maybe it might be real symptoms.
We went and did some grocery shopping and when we got home I found a pregnancy test my sister had given me. I had just put it in the cupboard (thinking I would never see those two positive lines on it) and I thought what they hell, might as well do it.
So I did the test and those two lines came up immediately, I have never ever been so shocked in my life! I just started screaming for Johnny to come.
He came running to the toilet thinking I saw a spider and I started waving the test at him saying 'look at this, look at this' the poor thing had no idea what I was waving at him, lol
So I told him that it's a positive pregnancy test!!
I grabbed the box and checked the use by date of the test, it was still well within the use by date.
We were both so scared that it was a false positive. We went straight down to the supermarket and bought 2 more boxes of tests (3 more tests in total) on the way home I kept saying to myself, please be able to wee, please wee LOL
Got home as I sat on the toilet urging my body to pee, I've never wanted to be able to pee so much as that moment than :)
So I finally did the three new tests and they all came back positive, we were stunned, shocked, scared, elated, excited...so many things
We weren't sure if we should tell Jakson or not, we weren't sure if we should tell anyone.
But I knew I had to tell someone and said to Johnny that I wanted to go over to my sisters and tell her.
We excitedly drove over to her house and told her our good news, the look on her face was like she had seen a ghost! She started shaking and screaming, Johnny grabbed her 2months old daughter that she was holding cause he thought se was going to drop her! lol
Once she finally calmed down and we were able to tell her we're not joking the look of joy was unforgettable
We had said that we were going to wait until after seeing the doctor to tell anyone else but Johnny said that we had told my little sis, so we had to tell my mum and big sis too.
We all went over to mums and my little sister secretly video taped me telling mum. I have not seen my mum jump up like that in my life! lol
And the hug, I think I'm still hurting from being hugged so tightly.
On the car ride over to my big sisters house we decided that we would tell Jakson and he can tell his aunty and cousins.
We got to her house but she wasn't home :( it was so hard not to tell her over the phone, but I knew I wanted to see the look on her face.
Back at home we sat down with Jakson and told him he was going to be a big brother! He was so excited that he jumped up and did a happy dance, lol
He had so many questions for us and just kept telling us how happy he is to be a big brother and how it was his little sister in my tummy ♥
I asked him if he wanted to go see his aunty and tell her and he was very excited to do that.
So we got in the car again, I was already feeling exhausted from all the driving and telling people but off we went to her house again.
This time we knew she was on her way home but Jakson couldn't hold it in and told his older cousin who was home. Than as soon as my sister pulled up in the drive way Jakson ran out and said "I have some exciting news, mummy has a baby in her tummy"
My sister stood there frozen just looking at me for confirmation, when I smiled and said it's true she ran and hugged me :)
It was so good to be able to see all the reactions of our family, when we were pregnant with Jakson we rang everyone to tell them so this time it was different.
I just couldn't hold it in anymore and tried to contact a good friend but her phone wasn't working so I had to wait for her to jump on FB to get my message. I just sat there refreshing the page every 15 seconds until I saw I had a message back from her, lol
Once I had told her I than jumped onto the parenting forum that has given me so much support, advice and help over the years and posted that I was in fact pregnant and that it had all happened naturally...no drugs, injections and no IVF....completely naturally!
Both Johnny and I were so overwhelmed with the number of replies we got on there to our announcement, we are very touched that so many people took the time to congratulate us :)
On Sunday Johnny rang his family and told them and that I posted it on FB and once again the replies blew us away!
My phone did not stop ringing and getting message, I still don't know if I have replied to everyone LOL
Yesterday (Monday) I went to the doctors and had my blood test and than today I got the results that my hormone level is perfect for my gestation.
I'm still not sure what my due date is, I forgot to as the doctor but it is in late June sometime which makes me about 5 weeks pregnant.
To say we are overjoyed is an understatement, it's still so hard to believe that after three and a half years and many drugs, injections and IVF..we have fallen pregnant naturally ♥♥♥
It still feels like a dream, I just cannot believe that we are finally pregnant!
So let me tell you how we came to find this out...
My period was about a week late but I thought it was just because I had had surgery and that may have put a little bump in the road and delayed it a bit.
Than on Saturday Johnny, Jakson and myself were out shopping and we had lunch at the food court. I had one of my favs, spinach and pumpkin gnocchi and was feeling really queasy when I finished it. I've never felt sick after eating it before so that kind of got me thinking that maybe my period wasn't just late, maybe it wasn't coming at all!
I started thinking about all the other pregnancy symptoms that I had put down stress or because of the surgery. As I have had these thoughts (over analysing symptoms) before I quickly pushed them out of my head.
Than driving home we were sitting at the traffic lights and I quickly had to grab a travel sick bag as I was about to throw up. That got me thinking even more that just maybe it might be real symptoms.
We went and did some grocery shopping and when we got home I found a pregnancy test my sister had given me. I had just put it in the cupboard (thinking I would never see those two positive lines on it) and I thought what they hell, might as well do it.
So I did the test and those two lines came up immediately, I have never ever been so shocked in my life! I just started screaming for Johnny to come.
He came running to the toilet thinking I saw a spider and I started waving the test at him saying 'look at this, look at this' the poor thing had no idea what I was waving at him, lol
So I told him that it's a positive pregnancy test!!
I grabbed the box and checked the use by date of the test, it was still well within the use by date.
We were both so scared that it was a false positive. We went straight down to the supermarket and bought 2 more boxes of tests (3 more tests in total) on the way home I kept saying to myself, please be able to wee, please wee LOL
Got home as I sat on the toilet urging my body to pee, I've never wanted to be able to pee so much as that moment than :)
So I finally did the three new tests and they all came back positive, we were stunned, shocked, scared, elated, excited...so many things
We weren't sure if we should tell Jakson or not, we weren't sure if we should tell anyone.
But I knew I had to tell someone and said to Johnny that I wanted to go over to my sisters and tell her.
We excitedly drove over to her house and told her our good news, the look on her face was like she had seen a ghost! She started shaking and screaming, Johnny grabbed her 2months old daughter that she was holding cause he thought se was going to drop her! lol
Once she finally calmed down and we were able to tell her we're not joking the look of joy was unforgettable
We had said that we were going to wait until after seeing the doctor to tell anyone else but Johnny said that we had told my little sis, so we had to tell my mum and big sis too.
We all went over to mums and my little sister secretly video taped me telling mum. I have not seen my mum jump up like that in my life! lol
And the hug, I think I'm still hurting from being hugged so tightly.
On the car ride over to my big sisters house we decided that we would tell Jakson and he can tell his aunty and cousins.
We got to her house but she wasn't home :( it was so hard not to tell her over the phone, but I knew I wanted to see the look on her face.
Back at home we sat down with Jakson and told him he was going to be a big brother! He was so excited that he jumped up and did a happy dance, lol
He had so many questions for us and just kept telling us how happy he is to be a big brother and how it was his little sister in my tummy ♥
I asked him if he wanted to go see his aunty and tell her and he was very excited to do that.
So we got in the car again, I was already feeling exhausted from all the driving and telling people but off we went to her house again.
This time we knew she was on her way home but Jakson couldn't hold it in and told his older cousin who was home. Than as soon as my sister pulled up in the drive way Jakson ran out and said "I have some exciting news, mummy has a baby in her tummy"
My sister stood there frozen just looking at me for confirmation, when I smiled and said it's true she ran and hugged me :)
It was so good to be able to see all the reactions of our family, when we were pregnant with Jakson we rang everyone to tell them so this time it was different.
I just couldn't hold it in anymore and tried to contact a good friend but her phone wasn't working so I had to wait for her to jump on FB to get my message. I just sat there refreshing the page every 15 seconds until I saw I had a message back from her, lol
Once I had told her I than jumped onto the parenting forum that has given me so much support, advice and help over the years and posted that I was in fact pregnant and that it had all happened naturally...no drugs, injections and no IVF....completely naturally!
Both Johnny and I were so overwhelmed with the number of replies we got on there to our announcement, we are very touched that so many people took the time to congratulate us :)
On Sunday Johnny rang his family and told them and that I posted it on FB and once again the replies blew us away!
My phone did not stop ringing and getting message, I still don't know if I have replied to everyone LOL
Yesterday (Monday) I went to the doctors and had my blood test and than today I got the results that my hormone level is perfect for my gestation.
I'm still not sure what my due date is, I forgot to as the doctor but it is in late June sometime which makes me about 5 weeks pregnant.
To say we are overjoyed is an understatement, it's still so hard to believe that after three and a half years and many drugs, injections and IVF..we have fallen pregnant naturally ♥♥♥
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